Persevering Prayer: Search Me
“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”
Psalm 139:23-24
Previous posts in series:
All Knowing
This prayer has given so much intimacy for me in knowing God. It reminds me that I am fully known (1 Corinthians 13:12) by God more than I know myself. It’s very intrusive from our perspective, but it’s a '“life-saving surgery” kind of intrusive. Without God’s revealing of our hearts to us, we are wandering in the dark. We need Him to guide us in the way everlasting. It’s a reminder of the reality of the all encompassing nature of God. I need Him to lead every second of my life. I have always needed this and will always need it. This prayer at the end of Psalm 139 is referencing back to the beginning of the Psalm, where we see God is all knowing down to every part of our life. R.C. Sproul used to say “There is not a single maverick molecule in the universe.” He knows and ordains it all. For example, God already knows every thought and intention I’ve ever had, as laid out earlier in the Psalm.
This psalm begins in verses 1-3:
“O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.” (ESV)
God not only knows my thoughts, past and present. He knows every intention and thought I will ever have. Verses 4 and 5 continue:
"Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, Lord, You know it all.
You have encircled me behind and in front,
And placed Your hand upon me.” (NASB)
He needs no permission to search me. This prayer is a humbling and vulnerable reminder that I cannot fool God and I am reliant on Him. This prayer is not for the weak, in one sense, in that its not easy. It is for the weak in the sense that it reminds us we are weak, whether we pray this or not, and provides the strength. We are dependent on God’s grace in our lives to lead us. God knowing our hearts is good news. He is light in the darkness of our hearts (Ephesians 5:13-14).
This prayer is also acknowledging Jeremiah 17:9. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” The answer to that question is God alone, fully understands it. We only understand it to the extent that God gives us the grace to understand it. This is part of the reason it is such a vulnerable prayer. I know there’s sin in there, hiding from others, but not from God. I pray, through this prayer, that it is not hidden from me either. Sin is not wanting to be exposed to the light. Like a disgusting and deadly bacteria, it cannot continue to exist and grow where light is (1 John 1:5-10). This prayer is asking for insight into my own heart and mind. I’m asking God to show me where I’m wrong in the deepest sense, to encourage me where I’m right, and to light the days ahead.
Know My Thoughts
This prayer is also one of the many antidotes to anxiety in Scripture. It reminds me of one of my favorite passages concerning how we battle anxiety. When we say “know my anxious thoughts” as the NASB translation puts it, we are following what I think is laid out in Philippians 4:6-7. I refer to these two verses as the prescription for anxiety. It tells us exactly how to treat anxiety. It says “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I describe the layout of this passage as, “Don’t do this. Do this instead. Here’s why.” The “anything” is all inclusive. The “everything” is as well. If I’m anxious about “anything”, I shouldn’t be. Likewise, concerning “everything,” anything possible in the realm of experience can be prayed about to God. Why should we do this? We need the peace of God to guard our hearts and our minds. We are not just praying for God to search our hearts to look around and take notes. We need Him to guard us against sin, and Satan, in Christ. We give Him our anxious thoughts for peace. This passage will get it’s own post at some point I’m sure.
Any Grievous Way In Me
As stated above, I know that there are grievous ways in there. While we continue on in our lives, we will battle with sin. We will cause grief to God, ultimately trusting that He poured out the punishment on Christ. Paul shows us a very relatable description of our conflicting natures or “laws” in us in Romans 7. We have a “body of death” and the Spirit of God in conflict with one another in our hearts (Romans 7:14-25). Our hearts are battlegrounds. While Christ ultimately will glorify us out of the fallen world (Romans 8:30), we continue on now. We plead with God to place His Spirit into our hearts to not only cleanse us, but to give us new hearts (Ezekiel 36:26-27), renewed day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16). Paul ends the passage in Romans 7 with the question “who will deliver me from this body of death?” His resounding conclusion is “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
The Way Everlasting
I love this poetic way of saying eternity with God, as well as Christ Himself being the Way Everlasting. This prayer ends with the hope and assurance that God will lead us as His children to fellowship with Him for all eternity. The Bible tells us eternity is written in our hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11). We desire the way everlasting, but we love the sin that this prayer is asking to be destroyed. In one sense, with our nature stained by sin, it is a difficult way. In another sense, we avoid the devastating loss of going any other way that leads to death and infinitely more difficulty. Jesus tells us this second sense in this way in Matthew 11:30: “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” In Acts 14:21-22, we see the first sense of difficulty, that the apostles would encourage one another saying “through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God.” This prayer is a way of asking God to increase our faith that this difficulty pales in comparison to knowing Christ. We see this in Philippians 3:7-14, as Paul models this for us with, “I consider everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” He says this similarly in Romans 8:18:“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” This “glory” is Christ Himself. Christ is, Himself, the way everlasting (John 14:6). Ultimately, for those who are trusting in Christ, we know that God will lead us in the way everlasting. Paul encourages us with “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6b). The Spirit of God, for those who trust in Christ, gives peace knowing that no matter what happens in life, we have a way everlasting that is ahead of us as we wait for it with hope. I believe we can take Peter’s words in one of my favorite passages, as a promise, and way to think about the way everlasting. He says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” (Emphasis added, 1 Peter 1:3-9) When we ask God to lead us in the way everlasting, we are trusting in the God Who fulfills His promise to do so. The destination and reward is the greatest Being in existence. The reward is God Himself, everlasting.